She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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