you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
