Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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