And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
