I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
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you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
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All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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