with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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