I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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