We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
