forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
