it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
