If that was your dad, he is hot
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
