we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
