...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
