that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
