We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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