I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
