Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
