i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We're too hungover to prance.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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