no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm jealous of your bromance
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
