Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Sext me about skeletons
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
