Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
