Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm bleeding and have questions
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
