Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
