Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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