Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
