definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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