If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
