He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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