is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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