ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
