careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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