So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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