Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
