We need to rekindle our bromance
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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