Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
