help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
id be glad to
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
be right there i have to get my cape
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
