i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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