I wish life had little blips of pornography
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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