The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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