You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Semen is not good for contacts.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
