but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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