You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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