his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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