apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I showed him my bush... on skype.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize