Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
