I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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