I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
