i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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