Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
