You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
