i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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