She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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