you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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