thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This is the high leading the old right now
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
