You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
