he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
