my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
