I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I need to calm my uterus...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize