Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
