I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
