i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
