You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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