the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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