How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
