We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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