sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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