For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
